I get that if someone copies you you’re supposed to be flattered, and I am. It just sometimes feels like someone is stealing a part of you and changing the meaning of it, or taking the meaning away.
Now I know that that seems selfish- why not let everyone choose how they want to look, do what they want to do? I’m fine with that, do what makes you happy as long as its not hurting anyone.
When I first said about wanting to cut my hair short last summer, my friend said she’d been thinking about it too. We both had our hair cut, we both loved how we looked. It just meant something different to each of us- for her it was a new style, it was easy to look after, less annoying than long hair. For me it was right, it matched my internal image of myself. But that was alright, hair is just hair and plenty of people of all genders have androgynous hairstyles.
Then the other day she said she wanted some shirts because she’s been ‘admiring my aesthetic for ages’, so we went to the local charity shops and she picked up a few. And that’s fine, clothes are just clothes and plenty of people of all genders wear shirts day-to-day.
The thing is, I present myself like this because it feels right compared to more feminine hair and clothes. It makes me feel comfortable and less like I’m dressing up as something I’m not. She does it because she likes how it looks, but is equally happy being ultra-feminine. I am flattered and I’m glad she’s happy (and she does look good) but I feel like how I look and how I feel are so intertwined that having someone just take the aesthetic value of it hurts. It’s like having a quote from your favourite book suddenly becoming popular without people knowing the full context. There’s nothing wrong with liking the quote, they just don’t fully understand.