Well not exactly.
Not to anyone I actually know, but online I’m going to start going by Jay. Amber is feeling increasingly foreign to me. It bothers me more online as it’s written so doesn’t go away, whereas in day to day life it gets mentioned and then disappears (if that makes any sense). Its also used infrequently enough in conversation to not bother me too much and I’m still not 100% sure on if I actually want to change my name, or if that will end up being my one of choice, and I feel like not telling anybody I know personally gives me the freedom to change my mind.
I’m going to go for they/them pronouns too, try them out online before I decide whether to use them generally- like my name they chafe slightly but pronouns aren’t often used a lot in conversation so it doesn’t cause a great deal of problems.
I feel like I’m going to start living a sort of double life but I feel much more comfortable changing my name/pronouns online where people I know can’t interrogate me on my choices. I’m not ready to deal with having to explain myself (possibly multiple times if I decide this isn’t right) or with certain family members and their opinions, so I’ll take it one step at a time.
At this point I guess the only thing left to do is to re-introduce myself.
Hi, I’m Jay. Nice to meet you.